


Repentance

by Harley_Quinn24



Category: Mr. Robot (TV)
Genre: F/F, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Jamie is the only one thinking clearly, everyone's a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 16:17:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13391553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harley_Quinn24/pseuds/Harley_Quinn24
Summary: "Whether a good day or bad it was Darlene’s face that haunted Dom most frequently.”Set after season 3; Dom can’t forgive, can’t bring herself to work through her feelings for Darlene. Luckily, her nephew Jamie is a little more understanding.





	Repentance

It had been a month since she’d walked out of the barn alive and yet Dom still wished they had killed her. Every time she set foot in work she felt guilty, plagued with awful little voices that screamed _traitor_ and _worthless_  at random moments throughout her day. Agents smiling at her made her sick, any offers of joining events outside of work made her sicker because she did not deserve kindness, to be included. She was the enemy and nobody could see it, just like they had failed to spot Santiago.

On her better days Dom rationed with her self- loathing that she was doing this because she had been trained to protect and serve. Her family was in danger, any other cop would do the same thing. Nobody would convict her knowing dark army had threatened to murder her four year old nephew with an axe. On her worse days her self-loathing pointed out she could tell her family to run, to pool all their money together and go anywhere as long as it was far from dark army’s eye. She could pull some strings at the FBI, even find them a safe house then inform everyone of what was going on. It would even explain the sudden five nine reversal that happened not long after Dom had arrived back in her apartment covered in Santiago’s blood.

Whether a good day or bad it was Darlene’s face that haunted Dom most frequently, as it was her own fault that she had left Darlene feeling defeated and ashamed. Dark army hadn’t forced her to rant at Darlene, to end any form of communication between them and to use only the most hurtful things she knew as an attack. It wasn’t Darlene’s fault she had gotten caught up in any of dark army’s plans, Dom knew how obsessed she had become with the case and the lack of drive from her peer’s had only driven her further into Whiterose’s radar.

Darlene had hurt her, had used her but after calming down and having a week alone to process what the barn meant for the rest of her life Dom had realised she had overreacted. Something told her she hadn’t been used entirely, that the chemistry between them couldn’t have been all a lie. She’d seen Darlene in an interview room so she knew she wasn’t that good an actor.

But she’d rushed ahead, plunged herself into loneliness once again as it was the best defence she knew. Dom had even rejected her mother’s suggestion of her coming by for the weekend, had insisted she had to work. She did have to work but things could have been arranged, there were always options but she hadn’t wanted her mother so close. Irving had already proved he could kill her family in their own homes and yet Dom still felt having her family close by would be too much of a risk.

This resolve was only shattered when Joseph insisted she have Jamie for the weekend. He had been called away on business and for some strange reason nobody else could take the four year old. Dom had a feeling her mother had called him with her worries, stated that Joseph need to check on his sister and in order to prove to their mother Dom was fine he’d came up with the perfect solution.

She couldn’t say no, couldn’t spend another night either sitting alone in a bar or alone in her apartment with only Alexa for company.  She managed to get the weekend off, it wasn’t entirely difficult since everyone at work seemed to think the business with dark army was cured now that Santiago was dead. That, or they were smart enough not to delve too deeply into that world. If only she had had as much sense.

Irving had dropped by only once, that was the morning after the barn to give her instructions as to how to spin things with the FBI.  He explained how they were going to frame Santiago, what she should say in reference to him taking her and Darlene then he’d left. She always got the feeling he was around, _someone_ had eyes on her but she counted herself lucky that he hadn’t been back in person. So far she had nothing to report, even if she did Dom still found herself loathe to run straight off to tell him.

The knowledge that Irving could pop up at any time played on Dom’s mind as she drove Jamie back to her apartment, even when they were inside she kept expecting a knock on the door. But as one hour turned into two and the silence in her apartment was slowly filled with Jamie’s voice and laughter her worries about Irving were pushed to a shaded part of her mind.

“Auntie Dom, can I see your gun?” 

It was mid-afternoon and after spending the morning inside Dom was starting to wonder how else she intended to keep Jamie occupied. She knew many places in the city would be open, it was a fairly sunny Saturday and they still had all day to have an adventure but Dom was stalling taking him outside. If she could keep him safe until she took him home, she just had to make it until six pm tomorrow and she’d be out of the woods. She’d have kept Jamie safe for two days, had saved her own sanity for one weekend.

“Oh, your dad would love that story when you go home tomorrow. That’s not happening, J.” Dom laughed, feeling incredibly at ease after only a few hours in his company.

Jamie, standing on her bed, jumped off onto the floor then ran over to her with a grin on his face. They’d been playing stupid games for the best part of an hour and a half and Dom was only just starting to get used to the constant contact. He wrapped both his arms round her legs and laughed cheerily.

“But if I’m gonna be a super good agent like you I have to learn to shoot bad guys!” He reasoned, peering up at her.

Dom pushed his dark hair out of his face, it was now messy with all the running around he’d been doing but he looked no less adorable. She’d always thought he looked more like his mother, dark hair and dark eyes, but he had Joseph’s nose and mischievous smile.

“My gun has to stay locked away until I need it, those are the rules of being a super cool agent, I can show you my badge instead?”

While his eyes betrayed the fact he found this not nearly as interesting, Jamie followed Dom eagerly as she went to grab her badge. It was attached to her frequently these days, the gun stayed locked in her safe but after Darlene’s stunt Dom found unless she was sleeping she liked to have her badge on her person.

Her apartment wasn’t a good fit for children and after another hour it was becoming increasingly obvious that keeping a four year old cooped up inside was not the smartest move. After much deliberation, Jamie convinced her to take him to Coney Island to see the beach.

He liked the subway, apparently. He also found it imperative to hold her hand when they were outside, this was something Dom was thankful for as the second they got onto the street she feared dark army swooping in to grab him.

But they made it to the subway station unharmed, Jamie had brought along his bagpack even though she had already unpacked and it now only contained a pair of sunglasses. He swung their arms a little as they walked and Dom didn’t feel so bad, his confidence and joy carried her feet until they were waiting patiently on the platform.

“Auntie Dom, do you know that Spiderman lives here too? “ Jamie asked, looking up at her.

Dom smiled down at him, no trace of awkwardness in her. He’d lowered her guard more in a few hours than most people had in a month. Even with the limited time she spent with him she still found they had a wonderful relationship, something she often forgot about until she was thrust back into his world of bad guys being defeated immediately by the heroes that protected their city.

“I didn’t actually, that’s pretty cool. Do you think he rides the Subway?” Dom asked interestedly.

Jamie laughed and shook his head. He held her hand and found them two seats, en route to Coney Island as he chatted and explained that Peter Parker might but Spiderman could just use his web to get around.

Dom had relaxed completely. Upon sitting down she had taken in her surroundings, counted the number of people around them and briefly considered their description but ten minutes into the journey her attention was on Jamie. The discussion had moved onto school, he was telling her about his best friend when Dom’s heart sunk and her body stiffened.

People littered the subway car, some standing up and some sitting down but Dom’s eyes had unknowingly fallen on the young woman standing against the doors at the opposite end of the car. Darlene’s hood was pulled up over her head but Dom would recognise her anywhere; the boots, the shorts, the mess of hair spilling out to frame a strong jawline and inviting lips.

Darlene wasn't looking in Dom’s direction, Dom hoped Darlene hadn’t even seen her but she couldn’t stop herself from staring. She hadn’t seen Darlene in a month but had thought about her practically every day, now feelings and emotions rushed back in spades and overwhelmed Dom’s otherwise calm composure.

She felt uncomfortable, anxious that Darlene would spot her and storm over to scream everything she hadn’t been able to say at the barn. Dom’s eyes drifted down to her shoes, self-consciousness taking over but before she could disappear entirely she felt Jamie grip her hand again.

“Who is that?”

When Dom looked up at him, his attention was directed across the car to where Darlene was now barely visible. Someone had stepped in front of her to hold onto one of the bars as the Subway continued.

Dom squeezed his hand gratefully and attempted a smile, eternally pleased that he was there to stop her from crumbling.

“She uh, she was a friend… but she isn’t anymore. She’s not a good person.” Dom mentioned quietly.

Jamie tilted his head, appearing curious at this information. He didn’t answer immediately, instead he leaned his head against her arm and seemed to ponder his aunt’s friend who was no longer a friend.

“Well at school if one of my friends does something bad our teacher always tells us to say sorry, then we can be friends again. You should tell her she needs to say sorry.”

Dom didn’t reply to this, didn’t feel able to. Darlene _was_ sorry and so was she, but it was too hard to admit this aloud. It made things a little less hard to swallow if she drummed into her head that it was Darlene’s fault, she could counter any second guesses she had with the knowledge that Darlene had used her to get into Sentinel. Darlene wasn’t a good person and Dom wanted only that to cloud her mind.

Dom spent the rest of the journey stealing glances at Darlene, she changed the subject with Jamie and managed put on a cheerful demeanour for him once again but just seeing Darlene again had sent her into a tailspin. When they got off at Coney Island there were too many people exiting to see where Darlene had gone but she disappeared from view almost as soon as the doors opened. Dom wondered if she was going to see Elliot, if they had hatched a new ridiculous plan to plunge the world into darkness. Or even if she was meeting hacker friends to take down the dark army, Dom wanted to scoff at even the idea. The dark army was too big for any of them to take down now, not to mention Elliot had seemed only too eager to help them to save his and his sister’s life. Dom wouldn’t even be surprised if the Alderson siblings were working hand in hand with the dark army.

“Can we go straight to the beach?”

Dom looked down at him and smiled lightly, abandoning her search for Darlene in favour of returning her thoughts to Jamie. The only light in the disaster zone that was her life.

Dom squeezed his hand then started walking, mirroring his earlier action of swinging their arms lightly. She would focus on him, she only had him for two days and if two days of happiness was all she could get then that’s what she would take. She thought about Darlene every day, conflicting thoughts kept her awake at night so placing her sighting of Darlene to the back of her mind wasn’t going to hurt anyone. She could obsess over it on Sunday night when she returned to her empty apartment, having dropped Jamie back at home.

“You’re a lot taller than you looked in the pictures, pal. It’s good to meet you Jamie!”

Dom recongised the voice, located the owner before Jamie did and he couldn’t understand why her grip tightened on his hand. Too tight. Jamie opened his mouth to tell Dom she was hurting him but he didn’t have a chance, she cut him off, only Dom was talking to the man in the suit now standing in front of them by the exit to the subway.

“Please don’t do this now.” Dom muttered quietly, her eyes searching Irving’s face for any kind of answers as to why he was there.

He was smiling, Jamie didn’t understand why his aunt seemed so afraid of this man. A smile was a good thing, Jamie had always been told that.

“I’ve heard a lot about you Jamie,” Irving grinned, his eyes settling on the four-year old now locked in Dom’s protective grip. “I think before your aunt here takes you to the beach we should all go and get an ice cream. My treat.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know where this came from, but I've been wanting to write something Mr Robot related for a while and since Domlene slayed my unsuspecting soul in season 3 I've been obsessed with them ever since. I hope I didn't do too badly!
> 
> I'm planning at least one more chapter, thanks for reading this one and I hope you guys come back for the next instalment!


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